Mert’s Safe Space 9-24-22

Mert’s Safe Space

A weekly column diving into questions about race, gender and social issues from a black, honest, fair and masculine perspective

Email: mertavius@gmail to sugget topics and ask questions

Today’s Questions come from Sonjay in Elmont, NY and Jennifer in Long Island.

Question from Sonjay:

Why does the NBA have to be so black/hip hop influenced, I think white people support it most so it should be geared towards white values?

Great question Sonjay, that name doesn’t seem white so maybe you’re a white person with an ethnic name or you’re a white sympathizer. But here’s the answer:

If it’s in American English, then it has white people’s fingerprints all over it that’s why…. So you don’t feel cheated here’s a more thorough explanation

White people love black stuff. It’s the only reason you see it all over TV, radio and the internet. Without white dollars pushing black culture, it wouldn’t be as prominent as it is.

Sonjay I would say if you were in the shoes of NBA owners, media partners and players, would you try to make as much money as possible, or would you try and please conservative white people?

Let me ask you another question, do you think white people who for the most part own these teams. Like black people more than their own people? The answer is no so what you’re noticing is the focus on corporate and bottom line success ahead of personal feelings and preferences.

Do you think white values aren’t found in black culture? For goodness sake we speak English, I won’t throw slavery in white peoples face but it’s a fact that Africans first language isn’t English. Hip hop and other staples of black American culture are founded on the foundation that white America built. It’s a reality that no one wants to accept, but it’s obvious it’s there.

Question from Jennifer:

Do black men like white women more than black women, as a white woman I’ve dated a lot of black men and they’ve treated me better than any other race?

Another excellent question, depending on the black man your answer will vary. But the real answer is no.

Black men like all men fetishize white women, latina women, black women, women with well-developed features (breast, butts and lips) and other physical traits. This in turn reduces these women into status symbols who are no more significant to them than an expensive car, fancy piece of jewelry or big house.

I fear what you may be experiencing Jennifer is a situation where you have surrounded yourself with what comes easiest instead of working for what you feel you deserve.

The truth is, black men may be using you for status or a unique experience and not treating you like someone they want to spend their lives with. The only reason I feel this way is because you’ve stated you date a lot of black men, indicating you can’t keep a black man.

So the real question becomes do you like black men or are you settling for black men because you’re not appealing to the type of men you want?

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